gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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