All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Please, let me fuck your mom
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
