if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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