I feel like I'm in dance class right now
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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