I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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