Sponge bath it is.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
