I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
