with your own penis?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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