so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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