ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
