u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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