I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
