So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
