And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
