We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize