You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize