you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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