You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize