What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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