good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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