That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
