508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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