Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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