Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We are two peas in an std pod
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
