have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
