Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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