lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
