Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
