He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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