had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
