who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
