Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
