It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
