the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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