Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
