i barfeds in our rink
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
