hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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