No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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