I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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