Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
