yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
