I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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