I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
