he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
