Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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