I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
