I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
