was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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