That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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