Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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