how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
