new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize