When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
