i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So much rum. So many feels.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
