I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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