i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
