I love black thongs
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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