i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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