That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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